We married in 2009. We met not long before then. It was the end of 2008 just before I heard about Tierney. I lived above the pizza place on 2nd St. in Pana, and worked at Tanner’s pub. They just went through a change of hands. Jason Waters just took over. I spent that Valentine’s Day with John Dorn when Chris and I had already been seeing each other. John and I were friends and made the plan to spend Valentine’s together so neither of us would be alone. Chris was upset (he later told me), but John was a friend and it was already promised. We got along wonderful. We finished each others sentences. We’d watch movies and I’d always fall asleep before it ended. Halloween by Rob Zombie is the movie I’ll always remember most with Chris, and Bonnie and Clyde vs. Dracula. We usually just went to the bar, or stayed home. We both worked, and when we finally had our first official date. It was a funeral. What I mean by official means that there was a car involved. Everything was walking distance. He would come to the bar with his dad and step brother Joe after work. When Harry died I got to get dressed up, but I don’t mean that the way it sounds. It’s just the way things are there. Kayla turned 21 and I remember hearing her party through town all night, and we would just smile and laugh happy for her. He was on parole, and had to get through some things. Child evaluations, visitations, and all that. He had a home in Tower Hill, Illinois but was staying at his grandmother and grandfather’s house since he got out of prison. He was in for approximately two years for methamphetamine and various offenses according to the papers that I’ve read and the ones read to me by him (which were a different set). The story that I heard is like this: Amy died in 2006 (June). She was seeing someone named Todd. She was in a car accident that caused her death. This is Christopher’s mother by the way. Chris was seeing Jennifer. Whoever was wearing the Pink Floyd T’shirt in the paperwork at Ann’s (grandma’s) that he read to me regarding the arrest. He showed it to me. He said that she was in the bathroom and threw some dope on the table or down out of her hands claiming’ it’s not mine.’’ He told me about the guns in Christopher’s face. How he stood up for the officer’s to stand down as a dad would and should. Chris also told me how his mother was right there as they were, but it is Tower Hill and doesn’t take long for anything to end up from point a to point b. The words that I heard and later read were obviously predestined for the events that happened. On March 23, 2009 we left my apartment and moved into the home on Cleveland St. It was a mess. Janet Christian helped me to clean it, and for the next couple of years I made that house a home the best I could, but we could always do better in hind sight. He was due to get off of parole on October 2, 2009. It was delayed for some reason and he didn’t get released from it until later that month. I was working at Casey’s General Store in town, and began there in April of that year. I had health insurance, life insurance, and child support was taken out of my bi weekly pay that I soon had direct deposited at People’s Bank. I opened the account in Pana, Illinois. My banker’s name was Jan. Christmas that year was awesome! The next year I went to Denver and visited the kids. Paul joined us from Reno, and we also went to Red Feather Lakes Colorado where I got Critter (as I call him) the t’shirt he wore in my favorite picture of him besides the one of him and his dad hugging. He started acting strange after some time. I don’t know the exact date, but we were doing good even though we would dabble with Adderall often. He acted like I was someone else now and then, but the first time I noticed it was when he talked to me as if I were a whore. We rearranged the bedroom because we were still working on remodeling the house. In whispers he would say: She won’t go away. He spoke of his 5. These were five other personalities of himself. We all do it. Our fun side, bitchy side, etc. He just numbered his. It wasn’t until later that I figured out what it was. It was the paperwork. I noticed it in the papers from Denver. How my name was never consistent. Mr. Christian, Christopher L. Christian. Chris Christian, etc. as is his son’s name. As Ms. Lilla is to my daughter and I. Travis had gotten in trouble, Michele had come to visit, Chad had gotten in a car accident, and we found legal means to get high by bath salts. We ordered from online in San Diego. A clandestine lab. Methadrone. Purest. The stuff was wild. I didn’t understand his behavior for the longest time, but it was because of my papers. Something in them bothered him very much. I don’t know how they could’ve. They were automatic writing stories that I had done years prior. Religious. You see I always knew Chris. It’s hard to explain, but I never didn’t have him in my life. I heard him laugh and it was like when my brother told me after carving my name in the arm of a chair when I was around four years old..’who else would carve your name?’ Everything just got clearer in my vision. With Chris… everything got clearer with my hearing. But what’s more with my love.. through my life.. all of it rushed to meet me at that moment. Everything was so bizarre there in Tower Hill. I felt like it was home. Everything and everyone was familiar and related. A parallel universe that brought all of history, love, family, and The Ancients closer to God and The Devil in an itty bitty living space. I guess.. I know he knew and that’s why I stayed. That’s why I was tamed where no one else could do that. He was mean. He was an asshole. He protected my kids.
That is how he knew to do it. In my heart I knew this, and having gone through abuse before, I am not one to take the excuses or make excuses for some woman beating punk. He wasn’t a punk. He wasn’t the destroyer.. he was though. He was a crazy mean bad ass mother fucker, but I came to find that so am I. He helped me.. everyone did. I found out later that we were right, and I wanted so much to show him that what we really wished and hoped was going on out there in the world was true. It was awesome to see even with all the faith in the world. To see some kids face or some confirmation only sets you motivated to do more.. and do it better with confidence. No more fears of ‘them’ because they’re shit to what we have inside of us. That love is the only kind of love that I’ve ever known. That is how and why I only know the best.
Everyone pointed to the drugs. But that was such a minor major part of it. That was set up to be that way. That was a two way street. I didn’t sign up for a genome program. He didn’t sign up for a genome program. What is a genome program. Good thing Sharon didn’t date the papers. I found the second set of papers at Ann’s. They were under the coffee table in our family room (the pool room). There was a calendar of cars like the one I had in my room that Matt gave to me later when I was in Englewood. I also know about the tribal paperwork from Denver thanks to the date on them. Then again, numbers always worked for me. Thank goodness someone thought they would work other ways too. It’s like looking at a clock and it always being the same set of numbers. It is the president school names, and things like that. If that makes any sense. I figured out the t’shirt thing immediately. Jersey cows, mad cows, uranium, fission, fusion. phishing, fussing, fishing .. whatever. So, the Lamb of God t’shirt, Tool T’shirt, and the Cowboy’s jersey disappearing… it was something that wasn’t good. It was terrorism. How is a guess except for what I’ve witnessed and can put together from what I know of. What I don’t know of helps in the end. Uranium23 and water (H2O) are the only two elements that I’ve read about that can change from solid to water to gaseous state without prompted influence beyond nature. Indonesia and New Jersey are rich with it. Lots of shit in Jersey from those cows. I learned this while associative researching the encyclopedia’s. I do that a lot, used to.. it’s cool to learn new things often. The same year I learned this was the same year of the tsunami. A prayer for Lucifer and the Father to make up because this shit was getting old was said.. with sincerity and tears also. No, we didn’t pray to ..we prayed for. This was on Christmas Eve with Monty, my youngest’s father. Trippy.
It was within an hour.
Any Hoots… It is people like Monty, Daniel, Shirley Younkerman, and so on that kept me strong so that I could be strong through that time in Tower Hill with Chris.. if not for him and our family. It’s hard to understand, but it is the vision I had once of a bridge rising up out of the pacific ocean. Paul was there with me, and he had led a bunch of children there. The key was figuring out the one who was at the entrance of this bridge.. if he was bad or if he was bad for goodness sake. This is Chris to me. The answer being bad for goodness sake.. the ultimate evil for the ultimate good. Maybe it was like the red tapestry dream with my twin male counter part there. Doc and I did look like brother and sister once. He is Paul and Nick’s father. My first husband… Paul. We met on April 17.. it was good Friday that year. It is also the day Chris and I officially signed the papers for marriage. It was a Friday. It may even have been Good Friday. Trippy. April 19th 2009 it was official. Fourteen years to the day since adults/children were displayed separate as casualties when at 9:02 a. m on April 19, 1995 a bomb went off in Oklahoma City. The day that L.H.V.I.D. Project was born.
I’d go on but I’m not a martyr. That takes a ..shit.. yeah I guess I am.. a soldier. a warrior…
Figure out the rest for yourself.. and leave my children and loved ones be. Enough. I have problems of my own. No more abuse. No more terrorism ..Isis isn’t even the deity for that part of the country, and they are MEN. lol
so.. you see… are you floored by this? LMAO
Dealt a good morning peace rose I’d say.. and a Hoot or two for the end to come of the Second Trojan War.
Bio digital Terrorism GMO warfare…
We can do it. If I can do it.. anyone can. NEVER SHUT UP.
Don’t be a dope on a rope LOL